I haven't written in this journal
I haven't written in this journal in a long time because I was becoming very depressed. Being single for the first time in 2 years really hit hard and I was sleeping around a whole lot. Sleeping around isn't really something that I admire. I have become a very lonely person. I'm not sure, but I probably could have helped myself out if I had just taken a few moments to write in the journal, that would have probably straightened my head out a little bit. Was I not writing in the journal because I am depressed, or am I depressed because I am not writing in the journal? Either way, it was my friends who helped me out in the end. Dating girls is kind of sucky because it is hard to meet someone that I really like. Every new person gets compared to Pauline and can't measure up because her and I were so close. Late one night I sent her an email and she called me the next day. We hung out and it was great. She is pretty serious with another person now, but that didn't really hurt as much as I thought it would. There was something so comforting in sitting on her couch and watching Mystery Science Theater all about making fun of them. Right then Dirty D called and asked me if I would come home. I got really pissed off because this is my life, right? Its not like I'm staying up till 7:30 in the morning doing cocaine, right? Dirty and Jeanie reminded me of the cycle. A year goes by and everything is ok with Pauline and me, then I get all frustrated, break up with her, we start seeing other people, then get back together. I really don't want to do this again. If I ever get back together with her I would want it to be because we've grown up a bit and wouldn't have the same problems as before. The next day, Pauline and I said good-bye. It was kind of sad, but also pretty easy in that we both don't want to continue the stupid break-up/get back together cycle. Oh, also, one night I played truth or dare with a bunch of friends and did a naked back spin on my coffee table. And on new years eve I stuck my dick on one of those water balloons that are hard to hold onto (like they turn inside out)...it was a lot colder than I thought it would be.
Well, I did something that I thought that I would never do. I sold my Atari 2600 on eBay. Iím trying to raise money to get a new Les Paul, but since Iím not working, dipping into my bank account doesnít seem right. Oh, well. I hadnít played that thing in a year. Its more just some really cool memories that I sold. Like the first time I ever played Pitfall. Some great birthday parties where my friends and I would huddle around a 13î TV playing for Chopper Command high scores. Solving the Raiders of the Lost Ark game was a pretty big moment for me. Discovering that secret room in Adventure was pretty cool. One time Pauline and I even played a game of strip Warlords. I guess it is kind of sad that I sold it. When Chris came home last night he said that he felt like a jerk all day because of what happened the other night. He also said that he had read my journal and the he in fact did NOT like Marianna in that way that I thought that he did. My bad. So then I drank a half a bottle of rum and went to Rolon bar. There were these cute girls there, which was a first because there are never any cute girls at Rolon, but then maybe it was the half a bottle of rum that made me think that they were cute. Iíve been told that alcohol can impare judgment. Well, even with all the rum I couldnít muster the courage to talk to them. Last time I was in this situation, I sent Chris in and he ended up swapping poetry with this homegirl. Iím a big pussy when it comes to things like that. Maybe that will be my new years resolution; donít be such a pussy. Chris, Dan and I played the Twister Pinball machine and Chris got the high score of 289 million something. He got multi ball twice in that game, I think. Then Frankie, the tattoo guy, came into the bar. He explained to me how to do my own tattoos with a needle, thread and fax machine ink. He also told me that his brother was going to tattoo a Tweedy Bird on his head. I think that might not be such a good idea, but I said ěcoolî anyway. On the way home, Chris said, ěAdam, you really should get a tattoo.î I thought he was busting my balls at the time because Frankie really does not seem like the kind of guy that would be able to tattoo you without fucking up somehow. But thinking back on it, Chris has a tattoo. His tattoo is right out in the open on his wrist but sometimes I forget that its even there. Then Dan and I rocked out to some Chixdiggit. I know I was videotaping the TV at some point. Thatís about it.