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<<
Continued from part 3
Author:
Farscape Maniac (FarscapeManiac@hotmail.com)
______________________________________
Part 4: Fragile hearts, forgiveness and lessons
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~*~
Live that moment,
Seize the
moment,
Remember the
moment,
And forever
treasure that moment.
~*~
I'm not much
of a romantic person but I guess there are miracles. I never believed
in marriage, soul mates or...love. But things change. People change
with time with what they see, hear, learn and touch. This is how
I learnt that there is love, that there is miracles and that there
is always hope. I learned this from two simple people. Simple??
No not simple, simple by look but deep inside much more than that.
They had a lifetime to deal with love and yet they had no idea how
to control it. I learned a lesson I have never been taught before.
The simple lesson of hope.
"John!"
I turned around
from where I stood and saw a Peacekeeper in front of the hotel door
calling out a name. I looked again and saw that she is not one,
no, she may have dressed the same as any other Peacekeeper that
I have seen but there were tearstains on her cheeks. Peacekeepers
aren't supposed to show that kind of emotion. I turned my head to
another Peacekeeper. He turned when his name was called out. He
saw who it was and turned back and started to walk back down the
road.
"I did
and I do." That was all she said to his back. It got his attention
and he turned back.
"I will
always."
"I know."
She said softly. She walked up to him. He turned around fully now.
Hope could be seen through the crystal blue eyes of his. Love was
shouting out to the women in front of him and hurt screamed through
them as if he had died and been brought back from the dead. She
cupped his face in her hands and looked straight into his eyes.
She kissed him slowly as if afraid of the rejection. He kissed back,
hungry for her kiss. Then he pulled back. A shock to the women's
face. Her eyes spelling out confusion.
"No Aeryn.
I can't." He pulled back with regret and determination. It
took a lot of his strength to do that. It seemed a war between his
heart and common sense. "No. This is wrong."
The women
known as Aeryn looked at the man known as John. "Wrong?"
"I can't
let you do this to me. You kissed me before and after that there
was rejection, pain and hurt. I can't live through that again. I
won't survive it."
Aeryn looked
at him and said nothing for a while. She just looked at him as if
examining him, daring him to say it again. She finally spoke. "What
are you saying? You came to find me and you're going to leave? All
this for nothing."
"No!
God no Aeryn. I just, I'm not sure. I'm not sure if you really love
me or you see 'him' instead of me. I don't know if this time you'll
go off again and I let you and never see you again. I just don't
know." He had by this time turned away heading towards a bench
in the market place. He buried his head in his hands. "I really
don't know what to do." He mumbled more to himself.
"John
why did you really come back and find me?" Aeryn said as she
sat next to him.
He kept his
head in his hands. "I already told you. Everything I said was
true."
"Everything
I said was not."
This caught
his attention again. "You're happy right?"
"Yes,
but not the happiest." She lifted a locket from her vest and
took it away from the place around her neck. It wasn't anything
worth to keep. No value in price or beauty. In my words: ugly. But
the women seemed to treasure it. She placed it in her hand and moved
it so it was in front of the man's face within eyesight. "Open
it."
He turned and
looked at her confused. But obeyed her command. He picked it up
and place it into his hand and the lock opened with a click. Surprise
filled his face. He looked at her again.
"I fixed
the lock." As if answering his silent question. He nodded and
opened the lid slowly. "The picture of the love of my life."
She said it calmly and softly afraid the people around them would
hear.
He closed
the lid and suddenly found the dirt very interesting. "John."
Aeryn shook
her head. "No. Him, you, the John Crichton. You are the love
of my life. Always have been, always will."
He didn't say
anything after that. He gave the locket back to the women and then
got up again. He began pacing in front of the women. Her eyes followed
him, watching him move from left to right then right to left.
"You hurt
me Aeryn, in so many ways. I don't know about you but I can't stand
that. Human hearts are fragile things to play with, *my * heart
is too fragile for that." He stopped and looked at her once
then continued to walk back towards the path he had walked on before
the women called him.
The women
stared at him bewildered. From the look on her face she had no idea
that was going to happen. The change in her features was so dramatic.
In half a microt it changed from bewilderment to rage. She got up
and knocked him onto his back on the ground. He never expected the
attack.
"What
the hell is wrong with you Aeryn! You can't have me and you don't
*want * me, so what? You're gonna shoot me??"
"Do not
tempt me." She said through clenched teeth.
The man let
out a sigh. "We don't want that to happen now do we."
He muttered under his breath sarcastically.
In one movement
the woman unholsters her pulse rifle and aims it at his head. "As
I said, do not tempt me."
The man looks
right into the woman's eyes. "I hope you are happy Miss Sun.
I hope you are very very happy." He made it sound like his
final sentence. The last breath he would breathe and the last sight
he would see.
The women
looked back at him. "Why do you always want my happiness??"
"Because
I care." He replied gently.
The women
got up and walked away from him just a bit. The man is left on the
ground wondering what he did to change her decision.
"That's
the frelling problem with you! You care about everyone but yourself.
You went to the Gammak Base to get me a peripheral nerve and you
knew how much trouble you could get in if anyone found out. Then
you went to Scorpius in exchange for Jothee. They are only two out
of so many things that you did, that you sacrificed because you
frelling care. Every time we broke down, every time we needed help.
Every single time there was trouble for us you were there, right
beside us, holding us up when needed. You stood by and gave us hope.
We trusted you John because you gave us something we never thought
was possible to give. We trust you. *I * trust you."
The women
turned around. Her face held a strange glow of determination. Her
eyes held memories that had rushed back to her when she explained
her frustration with the man.
"You
showed us how to look beyond the barriers we had put up. You broke
into them, making them fall apart and made them look ridiculous.
You didn't stop there, you pushed on further and deeper. You are
the cause of our pain, frustration, togetherness, friendship and
love."
She said those
words with meaning. There was history behind those words. A past
of things that held strong with the woman. So strong that they both
reacted the same way. The man had not gotten up, he had listened
to every word the woman had said. From what I could see on his face
it was something new to him. He hadn't expected it to happen yet
somehow he knew it should of. It was a weird combination. Something
I couldn't explain and still can't.
I watched
the woman's face. I noticed her face had changed since she turned
around. That last bit, she referred it to 'we' but there was more.
Yes, a whole lot more. She no longer meant it as a group of people.
She meant her. She spoke through the heart. From her own heart straight
to another. Straight to the man on the ground.
"What
will it take to convince you, John Robert Crichton, that I Aeryn
Sun do love *you *. Not the one on Talyn, not the one on Moya but
you. The one who turned my life into chaos, taught me things that
I have never been taught. You showed me a life and I don't know
how to repay you. All I know is I love you. I have loved you and
I will."
He got up
and walked over to her. He walked with strength. Somehow the sun
in him was lit up and he now had the energy to hold his head high
without hesitation and his eyes glittered and filled up with the
words she spoke out. He reached out a pushed back a strand of her
hair. The simple gesture was gentle, loving and careful.
"I'm
sorry Aeryn."
"You
are always sorry John. For once stop it, I'm the one that should
be sorry. I am the one that made you feel the hurt you feel now.
So don't be sorry."
The two was
lost in each other's sounds and touch. Their world only existed.
A world were two people, so different to each other in more than
one way. Loved each other, cared for each other and ultimately would
die for the other's safety and happiness. Something I would have
never done.
They were
so lost in their grief, torture and hurt that they had no idea there
was a fight forming behind them. The fight was quickly turning into
more than a verbal fight, weapons where pulled out. It was going
to get ugly.
John reached
out and caressed Aeryn's check. He pushed a strand of hair behind
her ears. She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. I could
tell she treasured that moment. It was a familiar moment for both
of them, they knew every line of each other's face. The wrinkles,
the scars and the one's that have been caused by the power of love.
They lived that moment, drunk that moment till they were both drunk,
they seized that moment and they will forever remember it.
"I've
missed you Aeryn, I missed you so much that I couldn't care if the
world fell to the ground that moment. You mean too much to me."
He now rested his forehead against her, his voice barely a whisper.
"But I have to know, I have to know if is me and not him."
Aeryn opened
her eyes at his question, the uncertainty shined in his eyes. "You
think too much John." Instead of answering his question verbally
she decided this man needed to be taught a lesson. She grabbed him
forcefully in her hands and crushed her lips against him. Even if
he wanted to move away he couldn't. The woman was too strong. She
pulled back, her lips still brushing his. "What do you think?"
I turned my
attention away from the couple. The fight behind them was getting
bad. Many people started to walk away afraid they would be caught
in the crossfire. However the two never noticed, too enraptured
in their world. That was probably why it happened, fate must have
it planned, planned it at the wrong moment.
"Aeryn-"
He was cut off by a gun shot. It wasn't the sound that made him
stop, it was were it hit that made him stop. He looked down and
sure enough on his right leg there was a newly founded wound. "Ah
crap!" He collapsed to the ground. Aeryn followed him to the
floor.
"John?"
Her voice was panicked, afraid she would lose him again. As if it
had happened once before. "John!"
"Ah god,
nothing's easy. You know the hero is suppose to get the girl and
live happy not get SHOT IN THE FRELLING LEG!" His patience
was wearing him out. "Frell you fate! Frell you." He rubbed
his face with his hands and whispered, "I feel like dren."
The woman
laughed through the tears. The tears was for the fear that she thought
she had lost him but now that was replaced with laughter. The laugh
made the man look up at her.
"John
you are the worst luck in the whole universe."
"Don't
I know it. Completely bad luck."
"Well
not all completely bad, you did 'get the girl'." He tried to
keep his eyes open, he was loosing an excessive amount of blood.
Aeryn placed in his hand the lock of hair. She bent over to him
and whispered in his ear. "Fate no longer will be cruel John.
I've had enough, I don't ever want to be alone again, I don't ever
want you to leave me." She took out a disk of some sort, silver
and round. She threw it and it landed in front of me. "And
if you ever think of making a decision by using a coin think again.
Follow the heart John, follow the heart." She placed pressure
on his wound to stop the blood from flowing. His face scrunched
up in pain.
I picked up
the 'coin' and looked at it. A 'coin'. It wasn't worth to sell.
I examined it and placed it in my pocket. A little solid proof that
I was there and I did learn a lesson. I turn my attention back to
the couple.
The man looked
at the women. He said three words before he slipped into unconsciousness
that made her heart leap with joy. The three words she had longed
to hear since she had broken, wounded, pained, stabbed and hurt
his heart.
"I forgive
you."
~*~
Live that moment,
Seize the
moment,
Remember the
moment,
And forever
treasure that moment.
~*~
Feedback
is appreciated.
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