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Click
Here for season one
Mind
the Baby
"I
know, sorry. I should have called, but I was in the neighborhood
and thought I'd drop in and say, 'Hi!'"
"You
want to have a mid-life crisis? Fine. That...just...ditch
the firm, head off to Maui, shack up with the super model.
But, you do not get to keep the Porsche."
The following
were submitted by Becky, keeper of John's Chocolate:
"What's
the matter Sparky? You need a Hynerian heimlich?"
"Pilot, get that boy on the phone!"
"Let's
get him some guidance before he turns into a full-blown Menendez
brother."
Vitas
Mortis
The following
were submitted by Becky, keeper of John's Chocolate:
"Right,
you don't know. She could have been excommunicated, kicked
out for sticking her hands in other people's business!"
"Let's
get back to Moya and heat up some Irish coffees."
"Take
a number, have a seat, no magazines, typical."
Submitted
by Counsell:
"We got
lucky, Sparky's got a big ass"
Crackers
Don't Matter
"Bingo!
Give Brainiac the fluffy doll!"
"Barring
the Yoda factor if he gives us any trouble, we lock him up."
"Gilligan
and Mary Ann. Maybe you're Ginger, I'd have to see you in
a wonderbra to know. Where are you guys taking the Minnow?"
"Hiya,
kids. What's going on? This a French Revolution type of thing?"
"Shut
up! I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare."
"Oh,
no one's going anywhere. Not even to Disneyland. Not before
we all have the breakfast of losers."
"Oh,
look, everybody, sunshine's awake."
Picture
If You Will
"Haven't
you read the Supervillain's Handbook? This is where
you're supposed to twirl your mustache and gloat."
"Oh.
Could you do that "Farewell, Goodbye" song the kids
sing? It's one of my favorites."
"He
just plain sucks."
"Sure,
John. He's toast. Scratch him off your Christmas list. Stick
a fork in him, he's done, he's over. The fat lady is singing."
- submitted by Becky. Keeper of John's chocolate.
The
Way We Weren't
"Pilot,
we have to talk. Let's hash this out right here, right now.
Five cents, the doctor is in."
"Right
now, how do we fix this thing so we stop bobbing about like
three men in a tub."
"Aeryn,
no, no, no. Pilot's Etch-A-Sketch isn't working with all its
knobs right now. I'm afraid seeing you won't help."
Home
On The Remains
"Suit
yourself, Jenny Craig, but I'm hungry."
"We're
gonna become the Donner Party of the Uncharted Territories
if we don't get some food soon."
"Hey,
Blue. Delivery. It's not exactly Dominos, but it got here
in less than 30 minutes."
Out
Of Their Minds
"Have
we sent the don't shoot us--we're pathetic--transmission,
yet."
"That's
great. It's the three freaking stooges. I'm hitting myself!"
"Unzip.
Pull it out. Point it like a gun and shoot...Put it away and
be careful, Sparky."
My
Three Crichtons
"I'm
in Bill-and-Ted land here so I'm open to suggestion."
Look
At The Princess part 1
"My
hormones? Hey, I was lips, you were tongue."
"You
want a donation to the sperm bank?"
"Eighty
cycles. Eighty cycles! That is roughly eighty years to you
and me and over five hundred years to dogs."
"Welcome
to Barbie world."
Look
At The Princess part 2
"You
do not get the toaster."
"Get
back or the white boy gets it!" -submitted by Leen
"So
screwed, man! We're gonna die!"
Click
Here for Season One
Don't
see your favorite Crichtonism listed here?
E-mail it to me (or at least a general description of
it) and I'll post it here credited to you.
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